Are you a Goddess or a Doormat?!? (bad boy adDICKtion)

 I'm writing this to the Ladies, but I realize men may relate, feel free to change the Goddess to the God and the "bad boy" to "bad girl".

In my estimation there are 2 types of women:

Type #1

The Goddess

Defined:

She is aware of her "power"

She commands respect

She knows what she wants

She never "settles"

Type #2

The Doormat:

Defined:

She loves "unconditionally"

She forgives & forgets (over and over and over and over and over and over and over again!)

She "takes care" of her naughty boy

She puts herself last (always!!!!!!!!!)

There are good and bad people in the world, unfortunately it is that black and white.

There are users, abusers, cheaters, liars and people whom will take a Machiavelli stance with you if you allow them to. 

That means they'll use you for whatever they can get (affection included!) that will bring them pleasure or closer to their goals. The toll it takes on you is completely irrelevant for/to them for as long as they can exploit you.

Women are mothers, it's our special gift, this ability to bring life into the world and hold it within in our bodies for months on end. I believe that this why women are more likely to exhibit and aspire to "unconditional love" within a relationship.

Most women (myself included!) aspire to nurture others, we believe that our love can save our children and can literally move mountains. Our love is so pure and powerful, so loyal & true that whom we give it away to will be moved...at least that's our belief...

That's why it's not surprising to me how many of us have been attracted to "bad boys", in some instances we're even dealing with an "adDICKtion" to them.

Yes, an obsession to have our wild man and to tame him with our unyielding love and adoration, the same way we would (or should!) react to our children if they were being "naughty". 

Women want a man to fulfill the male duties, even those of you that are feminist out there can agree that a man that can provide for the home, protect those who dwell there with his glorious shows of masculinity and direct and guide us (because he's actually more intelligent than us) is MAJORLY appealing.

Yet, many women settle, they settle for little boys rather then men, they're left doing the male duties and the mothering duties holding on to the belief that some day we'll create a metamorphosis within that "bad boy". Then we say it's because we love them or we're so loyal that we stay after major shows of disrespect and often times betrayal.

The reality is that at some point this becomes enabling and you become a doormat (welcome!).

Why are we attracted to womanizers?

Addicts?

Criminals?

Abusers?

Selfish ____ bags?

Not all of us are of course but all of us have at least once, at some point seen that Mr. Naughty and then fallen head over heels in lust...I mean LOVE. ;)

Once we're in that cycle and then we add affection, flirtation or even mind games (he said he'd call but he hasn't for instance!) then we believe that we're going to "fix" this bad boy and turn him into our champion of men. By loving him unconditionally and utilizing time outs, spankings or whatever it is you're planning on using or have in the past we'll transform them. They've just never been loved by us (you) before, they'll "see".

There is no way to fix a person, there is nothing you can do to make this man be whom he has the "potential" to be (in your estimation!). The man must decide to do so on his own and only then will a change occur, which isn't as often as we'd like.

So many women waste years and years of their lives playacting to a bad boy that they believe will one day transform into their King and live happily ever after with them. The end result usually being that the bad boy doesn't change, he either gets worse or he leaves her once someone else comes along (doubly insulting when that someone else is a Goddess and your tossed out like an old doormat!). 

But the attraction is so intense you can't restrict it right? You need him? I couldn't understand how deep it goes for you, eh?

You're attracted to a person that does not exists.

Actions speak volumes and you're letting yourself be used every-time you engage with your bad boy.

You waste your time, you waste your money, your youth and most IMPORTANTLY your LOVE!!!!!!!!!!

A Goddess will not tolerate such behavior,

Sure there will be chances given to the bad boy, often times multiple chances but at a point (and I'm NOT talking years down the line Ladies!) the Goddess will cut the bad boy off.

No longer will she play in his enigmatic chess game, she will recuse herself and not hold on to the delusion of being rescued by a loser...er...I mean "bad boy".

She won't take those midnight calls.

She won't accept the same apology.

She won't forgive and give a 5th, 6th or 7th chance- she is done.

The Goddess is aware of her power, she is aware of her worth and she knows that the BIG divine has a respectful King among men out here waiting to worship and be worshiped by her. The Goddess seeks a God to share her throne with, someone to inspire her and whom is inspired by her.

Don't be a doormat Ladies, stop now!

You have a King, he's out there or a Queen (if you're so inclined!). 

Find your power, join me as a Goddess on this plane of existence. 

Much Love,

Mystic Gwen